Mommy-to-be #1: She and her husband got pregnant last September/October. Unfortunately, she lost it. It was something so hard to watch because I knew how much she wanted to be a mom. When I found out she was pregnant again, I seriously was so excited for her! She is the sweetest girl I have met in a long time. I adore her. This time around she didn't want to get excited. She didn't want to get her hopes crushed again. I understood where she was coming from. Although I did not have a miscarriage, I remember not allowing myself to get excited because anything could happen. She is approximately 9ish weeks now and so far so good; "Peanut" has a strong heartbeat!
Mommy-to-be #2: She is my boss and from the time I met her almost two years ago, I knew how all she wanted was to be a mom. She was so baby hungry, although at the time she was waiting for her boyfriend to propose. We joked when I got pregnant that she was living vicariously through me. She got married in October, and it was known to all that as of that night they were going to try to get that baby they dreamt of. After being disappointed that it didn't happen that month, I knew that it was in the works. Voila, it just took a couple more months than planned.
Mommy-to-be #3: She and her husband, both our age, were married the October after Grant and I were. She had talked many times about wanting to have a baby, but never felt like she was ready for it. There seemed to be a reason each time they got closer to wanting that baby. Literally the week or so before she got pregnant she had sat down with her husband and decided they would wait until summer time to start trying. Surprise, surprise! Two weeks ago when she went to the doctor she was measuring smaller than she had anticipated being. There were other complications and a week later she found out she had lost the baby.
Now for the lessons I have learned from these wonderful ladies....
Lesson #1: Mommy-to-be #1 and I have very similar characteristics. We both are very religious. We both have difficulty being friends with females. When she lost the first baby, I remember feeling so much pain for her. She had such a great front on her. I was proud that she was able to stay in reality and continue on. With this pregnancy, she had told coworkers but had waited to tell family. I have watched her go from no excitement and much anticipation to slightly being excited (and I'm sure it will only get better). I don't know if she has realized that her attitude about this pregnancy has changed in the last week or so, but watching her has brought so much joy to each day. She asks me questions every day about pregnancy. I am able to share stories with her. From her I have learned that you have to take things day by day and find joy in the journey. She is starting to get excited of the weekly comparisons to fruit and veggies. She is staring to get anxious to feel the baby move. I just adore the joy I see on her face.
Lesson #2: Mommy-to-be #2 had mentioned before that even though she wanted babies so bad, she was such a workaholic that she would most definitely go back to work after having her babies. Recently, we were talking and she admitted that at lunch she was alone and starting thinking about having this baby. She told me that for the first time she had this desire to stay at home with her babies. I have learned from her that our whole life we have this plan of how things are going to go. We want them to go as planned, and we want it to go perfectly. Then events in our life change that plan and we restructure what we want. We have to be flexible with our desires and dreams.
Lesson #3: After texting with Mommy-to-be #3 about how she was doing this past week, it was mentioned that she didn't realize how much she wanted to have a baby until she got pregnant and then lost it. I can only imagine the surprise of getting pregnant (Grant and I were trying so we anticipated it happening), starting to allow yourself to get excited, and then find out that the baby wasn't well enough to grow completely. I never realized how much I wanted a baby until having one. Yes, I always dreamt of having babies. That was all I wanted my whole life. Then I got pregnant, delivered Hutson, and realized that he fulfilled my dream of being a mom. Looking back at it, I knew that no matter when I would have babies I would never be ready. I would never have enough money. I would never have enough time. We are only 11 weeks into being parents, but I have learned that it all works out and all the sacrifices you make are worth it.
My favorite time of the day is bedtime. Not necessarily because I am putting him down to bed and can finally relax for the day, but because it is our time. We have our routine. The light in his room is off and the light in the bathroom brightens up the room just enough. He lays on the changing table. I change his diaper, put his pajamas on him. Sit in the glider, feed him, and rock him to sleep. Recently he has started smiling and talking. I'm not talking about smiles here and there. I'm meaning full on HUGE smiles that absolutely melt my heart. When I feed him, he forgets that he is eating and just smiles at me. It's amazing how much joy comes from a simple smile of your son. I love these nights because it is just us. After eating he will cuddle on my shoulder. He moves his head around until it is tucked under my chin. I can feel his whole body just relax. When I have spent enough time cuddling him, I put him in his elephant snuggle wrap and lay him in bed. He normally will wake up once I put him in bed, and thankfully puts himself back to sleep within the next ten minutes or so.
I am lucky to have had no complications with my pregnancy. I am lucky that it only took us one try to get pregnant. I am lucky to be able to make things work when I am not financially ready to have a family. I am lucky to have a baby boy that absolutely melts my heart. I am lucky, and I wish to never take advantage of that.
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